This is a post written by our amazing Conveyancer, Aimee, about her adventures with her new iPad. Enjoy!
Aimee: Remember my last blog where I vowed to change my sinful ways if I only had an iPad and then the wonderful people I work with thought that was a good idea so they bought me one for Christmas? You know how I would quit smoking, lose weight, save the world and stuff? Well, I’ve made some progress.
I did quit smoking, but I’ve bragged about that already. The only thing I will say is that I am so damn glad I did! Pretty sure I will be an obnoxious ex-smoker any day now and will start making indignant moans, rolling my eyes, shaking my head, that kind of thing, when I come across a puffer. Actually, I will say two things. My iPad helps me not to smoke cause it keeps my hands occupied when an urge hits.
The next thing I said my iPad would help me do is lose weight. I wanted to do everything right so I downloaded a free app “MyFitnessPal” that records my eating and exercising. It even lets me scan barcodes on labels to auto-calculate calories. Very cool. I started swimming 3 times a week. I made an appointment to see my doctor to get all those “almost 50” tests done. Things were going great and I was feeling good about myself, than I saw my doctor.
My doctor explained to me that having athletes’ foot did not mean I was in shape and my blood pressure and cholesterol levels are too high. In fact, when I told her (proudly) how I started swimming 3 times a week, she said step up the activity to 5 times a week. She was quite rude and insisted on weighing me and measuring my waist. Okay, time to get serious and commit to a 10x pass at the pool.
I gave all this news to my bff @K.CHill and she agreed we should stop pussy footing around with our health and go from lackadaisical “drop in” users to “10x” passers. So, we set out 5 minutes early the next morning (6:55 AM) to make sure we had time for the transaction and to swim our 1K.
She was first in line and it went something like this:
@K.Chill: “I’d like a 10x pass please”
ATTENDENT: “ ever purchased a pass here before?”
ATTENDENT: “Okay, let’s see. Name & address?” answer, click, click, click “nope, I don’t see you in here. Phone #?“ click, click, click “early bird?” click “locker tokens?” click, click, click “okay, good. Now let’s get a picture for your pass. Stand there. Good. (attendant swivels the screen around) How’s that?” @K.Chill: signs and looks at the “just jumped out of bed, didn’t comb my hair & still have yesterday’s makeup on” picture and knowing nothing can be done, says “Okay” ATTENDENT: prints card, scans card, gives token “Thanks. Have a good swim”
Then it’s my turn and naturally I am not thrilled either about getting my picture taken. It goes something like this:
ME: “same as her”
ATTENDANT: “ever purchase a pass here before?”
ATTENDANT: “okay, name?” click, click, click “from Pemberton? This address?”
ME: confused but impressed that they have my details “yes”
ATTENDANT: “you are in our system. In fact, you have 7 out of 10xs left on an early bird and 9 out of 10xs on a regular.
From 2004” ME: “wow, cool. They still good?”
ATTENDANT: “yes. You have about $100 worth of passes! ”
ME: “Way cool!”
ATTENDANT: “Would you like me to just use the same picture we already have?”
ME: smiling BIG on the inside, in fact jumping up and down on the inside, cause, not only will I not look like I just woke up in that picture, but I will look 8 years younger! “sure” I say.
And that, folks, is how my iPad made me look 8 years younger. And that is how it saved me $100. And that is how it will help me lose weight. There is no point in trying to argue with me about this.
- So, is the iPad 2 really thinner? (epicagear.com)
- So how are you getting on with your iPad? (amitcs.wordpress.com)